


Hatless and Fancy Free

by VeetVoojagig



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Fluff, Hat Theft, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 12:39:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2851115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeetVoojagig/pseuds/VeetVoojagig
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joker wakes up without his hat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hatless and Fancy Free

Mmm, warm. I snuggle into the blankets for a moment before something strikes me. This isn’t my bed. This is much nicer than my bed. I blink my eyes open and stare at the ceiling. 

Ohhhkay. Right. I lost my mind last night. I seem to remember something about that. And, wow, yeah. Sore. But nothing seems to be broken. That’s a plus, right? 

Who’d have thought Commander Fucking Shepard would be so gentle?

I glance at the model ships hanging up by his desk. Well, he’s obviously got patience. I have to wonder if it was just for me, though. If he’d be like that if he didn’t have to. 

Hell, it was great, so who the hell cares?

Groaning, I pull myself up. I can’t believe he didn’t wake me up. I must be late. Of course, I guess I have the boss’s permission to slack right now, but… shit, the rest of the crew, how am I going to keep them from finding out? 

I scramble for my clothes, tugging them on quickly. I look rumpled, but I always do. Maybe no one will notice that I didn’t get back to my quarters to change. But… Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Where the hell is my hat?

That bastard. I should never have let him take it off. What did he do with it?

I limp around the room, but I can’t find it anywhere. Will anyone believe me if I say I just didn’t want to wear it today? 

I don’t have much choice, though. I let out a sigh and get myself to the elevator. I can’t wait to get into my chair. 

Was the elevator always this slow? I jiggle a bit in place as I lean against the side. Hopefully I can slip in unnoticed. 

The doors slide open—fucking finally—and I step out, ready to inch my way around. I look up, though, and stop short. 

What the fuck.

Standing by the map is Commander Shepard. Well, that’s not unusual, it’s kinda his place. But he’s just standing there, in front of everyone. Wearing my hat. His back’s to me, but I know my hat. That’s my hat. 

Oh, and the rest of the crew on the deck see it. Yeah. Eyes keep glancing at me, then back to what they’re supposed to be doing like nothing’s going on, but there’s snickering inside, I can tell. 

Okay. Just gonna ignore it, then. I walk, if you can call what I do walking, around Shepard without looking at him, forcing my way up to the helm. I drop into my chair with a sigh, closing my eyes tightly. 

Hands on my shoulders, warm, strong, gentle. Breath against my ear. “Sleep well, beautiful?”

My eyes fly open again. “Uh. Hey, Shep. You, uh…”

He chuckles. “Nervous?”

I reach up and grab the hat, yanking it off his head. “You asshole,” I grumble. He laughs and kisses my cheek.

Okay, now I’m bright red. I guess we’re not keeping things quiet, then. Why can’t I think of what to say? I always have something to say. It’s kinda my thing. I tug my hat firmly onto my head, and I’m not pouting. Definitely not. It’s a scowl, that’s what it is. 

“You’re adorable,” Shepard says, pressing his nose against my cheek before pulling away. “I’ve got work to do, but I’ll see you tonight, right?”

“If you’ve got your eyes open,” I say. It’s not much of a comeback, but I’m starting to get back on my game, at least. I look back at him, and the smile on his face makes me melt. Hell. I’m gone. I’m totally lost. 

He’s walking away, now, and I’m watching him. I can’t help myself. “You know,” I call after him, “your leather jacket would look great on me. I might steal it.” 

He looks back at me, that little smirk of his on his lips. It’s fucking hot, but I’m not going to tell him that. He’s already full enough of himself. “Only if you’re not wearing anything else.”

I choke and turn back to the console. He didn’t have to say that so loud. I can almost hear the crew speculating. Actually, I can hear them. I turn back and glare at a pair of techs nearby. They take the hint and shut their fucking mouths.

Oh, man, this is gonna be one hell of a ride.


End file.
